Story Time: The Dresser

This story is something that I made up to tell my brothers at night. I thought I would post it here for fun. They love this SCP Foundation stuff, so I made one for them. I hope you enjoy this as much as they did.

Item #: SCP-____

Object Classification: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-____ is to be kept in a cold and moisture-free environment to reduce bowing risk. Foundation personnel is not allowed to clean or maintain SCP-____. Paint or staining oils are irritants to SCP-____. Stickers, however, are encouraged as SCP-____ loves and collects them. SCP-____ must be kept happy to continue “good” status. 

Description: ___ ________ is a wooden dresser with two large drawers with one knob handle for each one. 

SCP-____ comprises two parts: SCP-____A, the dresser, and SCP-____B, a desk lamp. When SCP-____B is placed on top of SCP-____A, ___ __________ will turn on its lights and gain sentience.

SCP-____A requires an SCP-____B for it to gain select properties. SCP-____B is an ordinary lamp. However, SCP-____ SCP-____ can change its appearance by adopting different wood types and laminates without SCP-____B. All of SCP-____’s abilities are enhanced when fully assembled. When fully assembled, SCP-____’s cloaking speed increased by 100% and can render itself transparent. It can levitate and communicate via silhouettes or throwing objects. The dresser effortlessly articulated every experience it had. 

Most of the SCP-____ stories consist of pranks and other mischievous behaviors.

SCP-____ is willing to communicate to Foundation researchers, and they revealed that SCP-____ had been in existence since the US Civil War. Further testing revealed that almost any “lamp” could be SCP-____B. Items that tested positive were: candle, flashlight, television, monitor, cellphone, GPS unit (tomtom), iPad. SCP-____’s camouflage allowed it to stay safe throughout a 200-year existence. SCP-____ cannot hide its light but can be covered.

SCP-____ told stories to the researchers. SCP-____ mostly consists of mischief that SCP-____ caused.

SCP-____ Special properties include object manipulation, nuclear transmutation, seemingly infinite storage, transmogrification. Further research is recommended.

SCP-____ is in a suburban home in Scottsdale, Arizona. The Foundation agent spotted a civilian hauling SCP-____ to the curb with a noticeable discoloration down its side. The discoloration, mistaken by the owner to be mold, resembled a mahogany grain.

The agent, recently assigned in Arizona, took SCP-____ home and placed the previously bought SCP-____B. 

The agent was a woodworker and noticed that the mahogany part, at a glance, was expertly embedded with no seems. 

The dressers and drawers all had natural grains and made with simple craftsmanship. SCP-____’s materials consist of solid wood of unknown species. SCP-____ can deflect small -arms fire but it is not impervious. SCP-____ can regenerate any damaged part within 3-5 days of recovery.

The Foundation agent bought SCP-____B in a Craigslist listing in the same area. 

The Foundation agent took a break after moving the dresser, and when he came back, it was gone.

“I ran to the kitchen to get some biscotti and cream for my coffee,” he said. “I walked in the living room, and it was gone!”

SCP-____ turned invisible, levitated behind the Foundation agent, and gave him a push. As soon as the agent hit the ground, the dresser’s lamp projected an image of a comedy mask, laughing hysterically at the misfortune before it. 

NOTE: It was the intent of SCP-____ to reveal himself and said that he is “aware of the Foundation.” SCP-____ have decided to join the Foundation by aiding them. It is unknown what SCP-____ can gain from joining the Foundation. It is likely that SCP-____ has ulterior motives in joining the Foundation other than the opportunity to spy and prank on Foundation personnel.

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